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The Ups & The Downs

I felt so much better after writing my last post... temporarily, that is. Sunday rolled around, and Jason was getting ready to leave once again, and I kind of lost it. Now that he knows how I've been feeling, he felt bad that he had to leave again, which made me feel worse. However, the interesting part about it all was that it felt like *a little* anxiety but more self-anger that I couldn't get control over my emotions. I found myself thinking that dark, nasty thought that I'm too hard to love.
It's feeling like time to go back on those anti-anxiety meds. I hate relying on medication, but I want to do what's right for myself and my family. I don't want to put Jason through all of the hard times. And I don't want to put myself through any unnecessarily hard times either. It's also time to start the counselor search all over again, and take it a step further to find a doctor who can work with me on medication management. I'm not entirely happy with …

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